I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
