I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize
