i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
