Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
