dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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