that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
