Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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