A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
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