we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
