I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
