I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We left an ass print on the piano.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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