Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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