What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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