No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
