is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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