were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
