I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
my phone needs a breathalizer
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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