It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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