tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
