This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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