What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
