My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
