all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
