i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
wow bdsm is so cute
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
