Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
