so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
