You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The uberlube is also flammable
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
