I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize