You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
