I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
