laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
