My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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