How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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