Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
