I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
