i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
