Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Did I show you my penis last night?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
