I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
