Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
the condom got lost in my hair
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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