Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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