would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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