You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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