They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
