yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
