my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize