I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
