Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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