he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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