I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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