If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
birth control should be required to get into college
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
