Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
