Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
