Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
