Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
