i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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