So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize