Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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