yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
