I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize