My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
