For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
