i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
