here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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