Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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