Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
