I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
