yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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