They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
