I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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